“I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy.”
Alas, I have not been harmonious. I have not been in Harmony with my fellow MKMMA’ers. And I’ve been speaking to myself about that (firstly, in the mirror), and during my ‘Sit’.
And that is, that I stay on the periphery of everything. Is that my Asperger’s self? Because, to me it’s a natural place to be. On the outside. I find it really hard to be ‘in’. In fact, it’s an alien place for me. To be fully IN a group, even a family. I love my family, but they are all very separate beings, and yet I am joined with them in a way that there are no real boundaries. What a dichotomy!! What a puzzling observation.
It’s one I will take fully IN and wonder about. I will walk around it and into it and try to understand how I can at least verbalise this ‘knowing’, so it makes some sense.
But the immediate problem is not being fully ‘in’ MKMMA, which means that I’m not meeting my obligations of harmony. Not getting my blogs in on time and going into the Alliances but not commenting or sharing, despite having thoughts on both.
The more I go into this epiphany, the more I discover. It’s incredible that I did not see this for all the years I have consciously been on Earth. Yet I see it now and it is not really news to me. It just is.
I wonder, Is there another Aspie in MKMMA who could shed some light on this for me?
In the meantime, I will consciously “do” what I have to do. With joy and consciousness. I will “Step In”, and ask forgiveness from all you wonderful MKMMA’ers. They say acknowledgement is the first step to recovery… ?
Wow…. can I even I M A G I N E a world where I am present and accountable? To more than just me? Thank you to my Guide Luc, and thank you to Mark and Davene and the team, and thank you all for standing there and patiently waiting. I see you all. And, with a lump in my throat, I cautiously step forward, despite my self telling me I’m fine where I am.