Week 3 was full of ups and downs… but by the end of the week, there was light.
More light and more possibility than there has been for a while. And the small triumphs of reading, sitting, achieving and keeping my promises have opened the door of hope. I know it’s going to be alright in the end… and if it’s not alright, it’s not the end!
Coming up next week I break free from my old life. Moving house. Moving from my childhood home… the one I left at 17 and came back to at 49. Ten years later, there are no elderly parents to care for and no reason to stay. It’s the dividing up of a home and the final closing of a door opened thousands of times by a hand that just keeps getting older.
It’s the final look at my mother’s Spring flowers…. all blooming so beautifully right now. Like they know it’s the final Spring. Amongst my MKMMA routine of sitting and reading and my chores and packing, I document each kind of flower. Remembering when she planted it, why it was placed where it is in the garden. All the different lavenders….. oh, and how she’d love to see that special French lavender that was so hard to get going….
you should see it now Mum
The words from the scroll, from the Week 3 reading…. they are like a balm on my soul.
The repetition is intensely satisfying. I see a new beginning where I have a genuine chance to shine my own light and be out in the open… in integrity, gaining success. My DMP totally changed from being one that I thought was the “right one”, to one that is my own. Finally!
And that “owning” of my DMP has perhaps brought the toughest moments of the week. Feeling guilty for having my own wants and needs (PPNs). Just for me…. is that okay?
That has been the source of struggle this week. Me, mine, theirs… where do I end and others begin? Where do I start and others end? I thought my boundaries were clearer? Where do I stand with my loved ones when I write a DMP that is centred on my own personal needs? Oh…. just fine! We’re all in this together, but this part is just me, right?
The Master Keys sink in further, and and come to my rescue…. “Eliminate, therefore, any possibility to complain of conditions as they have been, or as they are, because it rests with you to change them and make them what you would like them to be.”
And then… after the incredible explanation of the Cerebro-Spinal System and the Solar Plexus… and the Energy we have available to us…. okay, it’s now time to, (32) “mentally determine that you relax every muscle and nerve, until you feel quiet and restful and at peace with yourself and the world. The Solar Plexus will then be ready to function and you will be surprised at the result.”
Okaaaay…… time to let my light shine 🙂